Life is like a mirage..

You were..

Warm, sweet and juicy..

After a long time of waiting,

Finally i have you in my arms..

You filled the gaps in my live with your warmness,

Touched my heart with your subtle sweetness,

And when i had you in my kisses,

Without words,

You slowly melts in my mouth..

Thou,

Made me insatiably addicted to you,

How I wish to taste you again..

So my love,

I’m now on my knee..

Would you be mine,

My J.CO forever?

lol…

*PS: its really super yummy!~.. a must try ^^ I got mine in Pavillion KL. You’ll get addicted.. hehe

Hi guys, i don’t know what to say. I think i’m insane. Got into the top 5 finalist in contest organize by Hitz FM to win the HP HDX Dragon laptop which worth RM9999. The winner get the laptop and all the other 4 contestant will walk away with a HP pda. In order to win one has to win games during challenge time, and those who survive for all 5 days with the most points wins the contest and got himself a new HP Dragon. Sounds cool rite? But there’s a catch, one have to stay in a 2×2m transparent box all the time and are not allowed shower or changing clothes. Those who break those rules will automaticaly be disqualify. Toilet breaks will be given every 2 hrs but if u need more than 10 minutes u need to redeem a toilet pass. Aside from that, we have to redeem foods using the points we get from the games we won. Thus the more we redeem, the more points will be deducted.

Initially there are 5 contestant, 3 guys and 2 gals. The 3 guys, Alvin (20), Vicky (23), and Jackson (25) and 2 gals, and 2 gals Jessica (27), and me (22). I’m leading at the first day with 4k plus points. Next is Alvin, Jackson, Vic and Jess. We played simple games like Bejewelled, Teddy Factory, Chuzzle. For each game, we need to play it for 3 times. Each time, winner gets 500 points, 2nd gets 400, 3rd gets 300 and both 4th n 5th gets 200 points. I never good in this kind of game, but manage to get 1st or 2nd place in most of the rounds. Was lucky i guess. My frens and housemates, especially Amy and Foo shen accompany me patiently outside my box. Then zhu zhu, pooi san and meina came to cheer me up. Really gan dong leh. Thanks frens, am really lucky to have u guys.

In the second day, i’m still leading but by not much. Alvin should be leading if he didn’t buy his lunch which cost 250 points. We played scrable. For the first few round i was leading but those rounds wasn’t counted. Final round, the time limit is too short that’s 10 mins and who puts first got the advantage of x3 score. I didn’t fare well in the last one, unexpectedly i got last. Sighz.

In the 3rd days i got worser, dropped into 3rd place. The games played on that day was not to my favor. Its Counter Strike, GTI Racing and Rocket mania. Im new to all of the game, eventho i played CS before but its long long time ago. I’ve lost all the touch, got final place in CS. As in RTI racing, i got 3rd in all of the rounds. Jackson somehow got talent in driving. Don’t know how he can drive so fast. As for Rocket Mania, its my first time playing it so i sarks till the end. Was playing arcade mode, didnt know the tiles can be dragged. Ahhh its my fault anyway. Sighz.

For today, got a few friends and family games, in the morning Meina and Foo Shen arrived. Was lacked of 3 people so meina help me gather 3 boys to help me out. Overall got third place in the family games. Then its GTI racing, got second overall. After that its CS again. Man, i sarks in this game. Did improve a little, manage to think of a trick but the marshall reveal it during the game. Sarks. NOw my score difference a lot from the leading Alvin and Jackson. Sighz.

Lolz something funny just happened, it’s dinner time. Vick wants dinner for 250 points. Then the marshal come to Alv. He’s unsure whether wan or not. If everyone take dinner then its fair coz everyone deduct points. But he’s afraid Jack dun wanna take. Hahaha.. in the end everyone agrees to take dinner.

Currently tired and hungry, waiting for the dinner to arrive. Think tmr i’m gonna leave the dragon. Kinda used to it liao. Sad. Exam’s this monday. Covered only about 20% of virology. Darn if i fail i’m gonna kill myself. Was in a dilemma just now, whether want to quit or not. If quit at least can go back home, have proper sleep and food. But finally i made up my mind, dun wanna embarase female race lolz eventho not much supporters here =.= Ok guys, dunno what will happen tmr, of coz i hope for the best. Really love the laptop liao, it has been together with me for 4 straight days. Parting is usually sad, but oh well. Enough babbling. Those who read this post and wish to support me, please come to 1Utama new wing tmr to see and take part in the final day. Cya peeps.

I love my home, i love my papa, i love my mummy, i love my bro and not forget my little kittens at home. I wanna say i love you all very much. You are the dearest to me in this whole wide world. Eventhough we are apart, but still i’m longing to go back home, to the sweet warm home where i belong, to you side, your hugs.

Third year first sem is the most hectic period of my life. Barely have enough sleep and time to eat, all i know is i was always rushing for either classes or assignments and doze off after work. During the weekend I work as a part time promoter in a shopping mall nearby. Although the pay is not much, but at least i can get a break from school work and earn some pocket money at the same time. Recently, i’ve also joined a university club called I-Club sponsored by GE. Thus, i’ll be bussier than ever.

Time really flies when i’m rushing, i’m glad that i don’t have time to idle around and day dream like i used to, which never really do me any good either. I’ve chosen this hectic life, i wan changes, that is to step out of my comfort zone into the tension zone and i know only through this i can improve myself, into a new me.

I started to feel i’m changing, not much but i know its for better. I’m starting to really cope with my studies, to be more independent rather than blur, to really know what is my priorities, set a goal for myself and really push hard for it. Games are history for me, i’m no longer a gamer, deleted most of games from my computer except Audition and Minesweeper, which keep me company when i needed a few minutes break.

In this new semester, all things seems to go smoothly. My relationships with my housemates and coursemates seems to improve a lot. Thank you friends, for the darkest time that you went through with me, for guiding me when i’m off sided, for being by myside when i needed company, and for bringing out the ‘real’ me. I’ll cherish our friendship and put it close to my heart. Thank you.

No matter what, there will be challenges ahead. Life’s full of ups and downs. Compare to last time, i felt stronger, i’m not the naive and blur smalltown girl anymore, i’m the new me, a stronger and more matured me. I believe i can keep up and move forward, to never give up to any obstacles and keep fighting through for the sake of my future and fulfilling our dreams.

Papa and mama, watch me,

Watch this daughter of yours,

Let me make you proud,

Let me achive your dreams,

Let me show to you,

That your every effort and love,

Is worthwhile,

Papa, mama,

I love you.

Been very very busy this couple of months. Neverending projects and assignments come pouring in. Also burdened by my 3rd yr thesis, i’m lacking time for myself. Sighz, as now i’m sitting in front of computer drinking my homemade mushroom soup i found a meaningful article at muniu’s bulletin. Wish to share with u peeps so here goes…

An eyeopener to those who are married, who are about to get married, who plans someday to marry…and to those who wants to re-marry.

I quote: During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends.

Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.

You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called "falling" in love… because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression.

It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage,

you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love u once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.

But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better.

But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you.

You can’t "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.

There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"… not just a feeling.

[2th July] 5.15am, i woke up, still feeling sleepy. While rubbing my eyes, i can hear mum’s busy preparing food. Father’s already waiting in the living room. After finish wash face, i still need to pack my things. Running around, finding my things, check whether i miss anything, and getting ready to go. Everything was in a rush and i didnt have enough time to take my breakfast. Before i left, bro handed me a box, ‘for you sis.. only open it after you arrived at kl k?’ my bro said. i put the box in my bag and gave him a hug. At 5.45am we leave to the bus station.

I’m sorry mum, i know u wake up early to prepare foods for me, but i don’t have time to finsh it. i’m sorry i dissapoint you mum. Father i’m sorry also.. sorry for my ‘last minute’ habit that makes you worried about me. I should’ve pack my things earlier but i didn’t. The reason is, i don’t want to leave, i don’t want to go back, i want to stay…

The bus arrived at 6am sharp, father help me put my things in the luggage area. Waving goodbye when the bus start to move, i feel so sad, sad to leave home, sad to leave my family. I tried not to cry but a few tears escaped from my eyes. Father only left after the bus is out of the sight. I’ll miss you all dearly, another semester to go, time pass quickly right?

Arrived at Sibu airport at around 730am. After checked in my 2 extremely heavy luggage which has the total weight of 14kg, i walked to the boarding room with 2 hand luggage that has the weight of around 8kg. The plane take off at 930am and arrive at kl airport at 1130am. My heart felt heavy, i’m alone, again. Took Sky bus then use KTM from KL central to UKM.

Arrived at my home in bangi around 3pm. My hand was red and sore, so does my shoulder, damage done by the weight of my luggage. Feeling very tired, i fell asleep after bath.

[3th july] 9.25am, woke up by the ringing sound of my phone. It was Mr wong, called and said ‘let’s go for tea’. Haha, i miss you, Mr Wong and Mr Lu. I miss the time we used to go for tea when in hospital where we go and taste all the good food in town. I won’t forget the ‘Ice Lemon Tea + salt", Mr Lu’s special recipe. I miss the bactic team, Encik Asmadi and Encik Khalik that always ‘meracau’, i miss Kak Mary, Kak Dayang, Kak Kristy, Kak Flo, Kak Julia, miss the time we had girls gossips together, and all hospital staffs, i miss you all. Those were the best time i ever had, life’s so happy back then. Everyday is a happy day. I wished i can stay.. i miss u all..

Nothing to do in house, nothing much to eat also, feeling lonely and hungry, end up play Audition whole day. Then i remembered the box my bro gave me. When i opened it up, there’s 2 picture frame inside, 1 is family photo and another is me and my bro’s photo. There’s also a note which says:

Hi One-Chan!
I hope you like the present.
Although it is not much
I will never forget the great moment we have together
We always love you!
No matter what
Bro

My tears start to flow after read the note eventhough i tried to control. Suddenly there’s a rush of feelings in my heart, mixed feeling of sadness and happiness. Felt very sad that now my family are now appart from me, but happy to know that they loves me not matter what happened.

To: Bro
Take good care of mum and dad for me k?
Study hard and good luck for your coming exam
Will always cherish the times we had together
i love you also…

*tears fall down the cheek*

Today i get my hair permed, it’s digital perm at my uncle’s salon (Kelvin, in Sarikei). The process takes around 2 hour and 30 minutes, quite fast compare to other people as my hair is not very thick. After everything’s done, i cannot wash my hair for 2 days in order for the hair to settle and absorb the shape, or something like that (i myself also not quite sure what it’s for >.<) The perm supposed to be cost RM200 but my aunt only charge me RM50. Cheap right? But i felt paise so i gave her RM100 instead but she refused to accept. Oh well, all i can say is "Thank you AUNTIE!! muacks!" hehehe.. By the way, i plan to colour my hair next week, will post some pictures after i dyed kekekeke..

Stay tune!

Wanna share with you all something that i’ve found on webbie

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what
makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you, as you
deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends".
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t
stay because you think, "it will get better."
You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behaviour.* Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he
has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute
about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes…when men always know where you are, and
you’re always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you
need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)… You’ll make
someone smile, another rethinks her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and
an entire lifetime to forget them.

Weeeee… i got myself a new lipgloss and i love it~

muacks muacks muacks! ^^

Today is a normal day, i was working in the lab as usual, subculture the speciment that were sent to us. The culture of Vibrio vulnificus on blood agar done by me yesterday was ‘pretty’. Pure, distinct, single colonies can be clearly seen on the plate. How i wish i can take a picture of it but i didn’t bring a camera with me. On 13^th May a 70 years old woman died several days later after being bitten by a crab while handling it. Felt that it’s just a small injury the woman ignored the the wound. 11^th May, she was admitted to the hospital and on 13^th May, she passed away because of septicemia, a condition where the bacteria enters the blood system. Vibrio vulnificus was isolated from her wound swab,which is a Gram negative slightly curved bacilli that can be found in marine and estuarine environments. V. vulnificus bloodstream infections are fatal about 50% of the time. I think she never had thought that a bite from a crab can kill her. Life is fragile isn’t it?

Although she had passed away, but the finding and isolation of the rare bacteria agitated Mr. Wong, my ‘sifu’. After 30 plus years of service, this is the first time he encountered this rare species of Vibrio. He ordered me to do more subculture of the bacteria, while he made a smear of the colony on a slide plus a drop of saline water and put it under the microscope. Its very interesting to see a lot tiny and highly active motile bacteria moving around in the slide. Microbiology indeed is a very interesting field which I started to love more.

Aside from that, there’s no specimen from the patients this afternoon. Mr. Lu can see that I was too bored, watching me walk around the lab doing nothing so he suggest that I go with him to the pharmacy to obtain medicine for his father in law. I agreed and as usual we set off together with Mr. Wong. After we came back, there’s still no speciment so I walked to the blood bank department to chat with Mr Adnan, the supervisor of the department. While we were chatting I found that he’s 44 years old. I was shocked, as he look like early thirties to me. His secret? Be happy always hahaa ^^

Life is a never ending learning process. I believe everyone in this world are given time to find their purpose of life. Some found theirs, but some might not. Being too free in the lab, my mind starts to wonder off. Thinking about the purpose of my existance, my dreams and goals of life, I thought about a lot of things. Just now while watching anime, suddenly I have difficulty in breathing. My chest felt heavy and my vision also a bit blury. Maybe it’s a mild asthma nothing to worry about I guess. The night is getting late, time for me to get my rest. I think I’ll be late for work again tomorrow hehe >.<

Yawnz.. nitez ^^

Today is my first day of work at Hospital Baru Sarikei hahaa. After 2 years of theories learned in uni, finally now some real practical work.. wuhooo~ Today i check into the Pathalogy department and being put under supervision of Mr Wong, a 60+yrs old senior officer but to my surprise he still look very energetic and active like a 50yrs old. Dun look down on a 60+yrs old uncle, he still got a very good memory! He can even remember the scientific names of bacterias better than me! Wow he’s really a pro man! I really learned a lot from him haha.

Then the head of the Micobiology department is Mr Lu, a very friendly, easy going and informative person. I admire his out going and sporting personalities. He told me a lot about his working experiences, his study life, what should we, as a student look out and emphasize on and how to be successful in our life. He even treat me and Mr Wong for breakfast (ahh miss Sarikei’s kampua.. so yummy) and tea break ( at hospital cafeteria.. which look a bit gloomy dunno why) hahaha..

Next i’m also introduced to Mr Khalik and Mr Asmadi who are both the lab assistant in the microbiology department. When i enter a room specialized for pathogenic disease, Mr Asmardi was busy mounting the sputum taken from throat swab of suspected TB patients. Then the specimen are stained with dyes and observed under microscope. Its very interesting to see small TB bacteria who look like S shape and red in colour

On the opposite Mr Khalik was busy mixing the antibody taken from also Tb patients who are suspected with HIV disease. Still not sure how the procedure work but i think i’ll in the future hehe..

Other than that, i notice that time really flies when working. GOing to work at 8am then a breakfast break at 930 till 10 then back home at 1pm, 2pm go to work again then 330pm tea break and back home at 5pm.. hmm interesting how gov officers work.

I think that’s all for today, my annoying fren is staring at my computer with somewhat rushing me to pass it to her.. ok ok i get her meaning. Cya peeps!